The Wammy's Boys to Canobie Lake Park
by Backyard Bottomslash
Summary: Mello, Near, and Matt leave the safety of their hotel suite for a rigorous and pulse pounding adventure at Canobie Lake Park. The day includes roller coasters, puking, stoned ticket women, and much much more!
1. The Journey

Author's Notes of Awesomeness: Thanks to all who have read and reviewed, I love you all so much! 8D

**The Wammy's Boys to Canobie**

**Part 1: The Journey**

**Mello waited in the doorway of their suite, black bag slung over his shoulder. He laughed at the sight. His two best friends (and lovers) were quarreling with each other. What a rare sight.**

**"Matt, I'm not so sure about this. I did extensive research online and found that the rate of deaths at theme parks since 1950 has increased 54.3039278 percent. From 276 a year to 425.148407 a year." It was cute how hard Near was trying to get out of this little trip. **

**"Um, Near, how can a .148407****th**** of a person die?" Mello smiled. That was a stellar move on Matt's part.**

**Near twirled a lock of his platinum-white hair, almost expressing annoyance. "It's just a figure Matt. Either way, I do feel that it is too hazardous to go on this excursion." **

**Knowing Near's personality almost too well, Matt smile mischievously to look at Mello through his bright green goggles. "I say we need Mello's opinion too." Near cringed inwardly. The outcome of adding Mello's thoughts to the mix were painfully obvious.**

**"Near your figure was just out of the US, right?"**

**"Yes."**

**"Well then according to your calculations the chance of one of us, no, any person in the park, of dieing is roughly…" Mello paused to take a bite of chocolate and finish off the math. "0.0009448 percent." Near and Matt gaped in unison at Mello's casual attitude towards the whole thing. "It'll be fun!" Mello smiled in pure glee. This was going to be really, really fun.**

**Knowing exactly what the other would do, Matt grabbed his DS and a couple of games from a side table while at the same moment, Mello scooped Near up bridle style and followed Matt out the room. **

**"Mello." Near said, trying to act stubborn. It was pretty hard, since he knew that Mello saw him blushing faintly. "Near, that's enough." Mello said, kissing Near's cute little nose. (Please note, that an elderly couple were leaving their suite also and were highly disturbed by the sight of the blond man prancing around in leather kissing a smaller, seemingly albino man,)**

**Mello set Near down. "Matt and I have the cardkeys, and personally I think it would be much more entertaining for you to come with us then hang around the hotel lobby all day." Mello had a point.**

**Now in the parking lot, I'll explain to you where the three are going. Mello, Near, and Matt were leaving the Homewood Suites by Hilton. It was perfect for them since it was quiet and slightly reclusive, sold chocolate bars in the lobby, and had hi-def flatscreens in every room. This particular link of the hotel chain was located in the intrepid city of Portsmouth, New Hampshire. They were leaving for the state renowned theme park of Canobie Lake.**

**"I call shotgun!" Matt cried as they neared the bright read sports car. He just didn't want to drive so he could play his DS. **

**Mello shrugged, smiling. He was just happy that they were all together. And that they were going to experience something fun and new. He climbed into the driver's seat, hearing the sound of leather rubbing up against more leather. **

**Three car doors shut. One was a near slam, one was just regular, and the other was quiet and insecure.**

**Mello stuck the key in the ignition, revving the engine. "Are we all ready to go?"**

**"Yep." Matt flicked open his DS unrealistically fast, the electronic sound pouring out loudly. Looking through the mirror, Mello knew Near's silent gaze was confirmation enough.**

**He pulled out of the parking lot, heading on to the long winding driveway and eventually out onto the main highway. Mello was comforted by the sound of computer-generated whomping sound effects coming from Matt's Crimson and Onyx DS, and Near's silence was to Mello, like a sound.**

**One Hour Later**

**It was 9:30 a.m. Half an hour before the park opened. Our favorite trio was sitting idle in the car. Mello was eating a chocolate bar, scanning family's and most likely stupid and ignorant humanoids walking by them. Matt was still heavily engrossed in his DS, apparently battling a crucial boss of sorts. Near was slightly put off that Mello hadn't allowed him to grab some of his Transformers before leaving.**

**To pass the time, Mello was making up life stories full of secret love affairs and murder to each and every person he saw, including children. Matt was, well, he was playing his DS. And Near had to recall full episodes of Transformers to satisfy his need of Optimus Prime whaling on that idiot Megatron. **

**Mello stopped himself from continuing the story of that married lady who told her husband she went scuba diving when she was really screwing a French nudist to glance at the car clock. It said 9:52, but it could be off by a minute from this other clock that was 30 seconds fast from this other clock that was 5 minutes slower then this other clock that was two minutes past this other clock, so who in the hell knows what the REAL time is?**

**"We might as well get in line to enter now." Mello said, pulling the keys out of the ignition. "But I just reached level 34 and Bowser is nearly depleted of all his star power!" Matt was nearly at tears that he couldn't finish the game off. **

**Mello laid a hand on Matt's shoulder, giving him his trademark seductive melt-in-your-mouth look. "Don't use that look on me…" Matt whispered, afraid of making eye contact with Mello for fear of his lust. He closed his DS reluctantly as Mello played with a bit of his flaming red hair. Matt was a little insecure about Mello getting all pervy in public. **

**He stepped out of the car awkwardly. Mello smiled to himself, getting out as well. When he saw Near's fluffy white head come in contact with actual sunlight, Mello promptly locked the car. Hearing it beep twice, Mello stuffed the keys in his bag.**

**They walked towards the entrance that had "Canobie Lake Park 1902" Sprawled across a wooden arch in faded green text. In the line at one of the ticket booths, Near was sub-consciously clinging onto Mello's arm, slightly intimidated by the looming Ferris wheel and the shouts of provoked children. Mello ran his gloved hand comfortingly up and down Near's back, and the boy in white pajamas straightened a little, gaining confidence.**

**When the progress of the line finally allowed them to purchase their tickets, Matt stepped up, beaming at the obese middle aged woman, who looked to be stoned, and announced proudly, "Three adult tickets please!" The woman lurched, then giggled like a small school-girl, then pouted. "Mae Aw seee yo AwDeeahs pweeze?" She slurred notoriously.**

**Matt blinked. "Um, what was that?" Matt felt Mello's burning gazing flaming the back of his head, in other words, Mello was not a happy chocoholic. Using his peripherals, Matt noticed Near shaking his head sadly, as if to say, "I knew this wouldn't turn out well."**

**Sluggishly the ticket woman looked at Matt, although it was kind of distraction since her eyes couldn't focus properly on him. **

**"Aw saaayed Aw wannnah seee yo AwDeeahs." The woman slurred. Matt simply stood there with his mouth open. Putting a hand coldly on Matt's shoulder, Mello hissed, "I think she wants our IDs."**

**The ticket woman agreed with Mello. "Yaaah. Yo gay fags in youz fanciee layther an' fuur and fuckin' pajaymaaz bettah' show mee yo AwDeeah o I'llee fuckin' kawwl the sex*hic*curityz." **

**Ok. How could THAT be legal?!**


	2. The Ride

**The Wammy's Boys to Canobie Lake Park**

**Part 2: The Ride**

**Before Mello could punch the woman in the face, an official looking man with a starched suit and stern expression came over to them. "Ma'am, what seems to be the problem here?" Out of habit, Matt threw his arms around Mello's neck in order to restrain him from mortally wounding the man. As Mello growled and gnashed his teeth, Matt explained casually, "He really doesn't like it when people mistake him for a woman."**

**"I apologize, **_**sir**_**," The man said, eyeing Mello with disdain annoyance. Mello grunted in response and stripped a new chocolate bar of its wrappers. The ticket woman giggled rather too noticeably, and the starch man turned back to business. **

**Addressing the ticket woman, he spoke rather slowly, carefully pronouncing each word the spouted from hid gaping hole of a mouth. "Ma'am… You… Are… Holding… Up… The… Line… What… Is… The… Problem?"**

**"But sawww," She began, batting her eyes and putting on a slutty sort of look. "Theeeze ass hawts woon't shaww mae thaaaire AwDeahs."**

**Giving the woman one last glance, he said, "You're fired. You have half an hour to leave the premises." Before the woman could start bawling obscenely, the starch man guided the trio to an abandoned corner just inside the park gate. "I'm terribly sorry for that. I'm the park manager and it is my fault for that woman's behavior. You have free admittance to the park." He clapped Mello's shoulder before leaving abruptly.**

**Mello turned around to face his two friends smugly. "See, I told you everything would be alright. We even got in for free!" Near shrugged sheepishly and Matt simply beamed at Mello's awesomeness.**

**The X-Treme Frisbee**

**It was big and purple and round. There were forty green plastic seats edging the perimeter. The line was sort of long, since it was the first big ride in sight, but one could say it was worth it. **

**On the other hand, Near didn't like the way the bored 20-something year olds eyed you suspiciously with aqua painted wooden poles.**

**They walked up the metal ramp and took the first three seats available. Near sat tense in the seat, wanting to bring his knee up, but common sense told him you shouldn't sit like that on rides. Mello relaxed as the ride attendants snapped down their shoulder restraints. Matt was whistling, a tune most likely plucked from one of his games. **

**Suddenly the big hunk of metal and neon paint lurched. The ride had begun. It swung back and forth almost forcefully. It began too rotate simultaneously as the ride gained more freedom. As the open disc flung itself to greater heights and spun at greater speeds, Near felt his heart skip a beat. His ebony eyes flitted about, trying to take solace in an object at rest. But apparently nothing remained still for long. Growing exceedingly nervous, Near squeezed his eyes shut.**

**Mello was laughing boisterously, not feeling the need to cream or shout like some people did. The X-Treme Frisbee now readily flung its current occupants nearly upside-down, roughly… 20, 30 feet in the air? Not to mention that it came spinning back down, only to pick itself up and fly in the other direction. Mello enjoyed the sense of anarchy he got from this, and the way the speed of the ride stole his voice the moment it left his mouth.**

**Matt was smiling broadly, realizing that nothing on **_**Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 **_**could compare to this. He was tempted to let out a peel of screams, like his peeps did on the game, but decided against it. Mello was right. Life was different then video games. Oh yes it was- Matt was happily jolted out of his thoughts as they spun high into some obscene angle.**

**Near felt like he could breathe again. The ride's momentum had finally begun to wane. With each shortened fling Near felt more solid. **

**Aftermath**

**Near had fallen onto the closest bench from the ride, determined to block out all sight and sound. When he had stood up after the ride ended, and odd sensation took over him. It felt like every step he took he was going to fall. Like he was bouncing all over the place without actually doing so. He vaguely noticed Mello sit next to him on the bench, barely felt Mello put his arm supportingly around Near's shoulders.**

**"Near, what's wrong?"**

**"Mello, I think I'm… Dizzy."**

**"Near is that it? Honestly!" Mello pushed Near up and smiled. "It'll wear off in a minute." **

**Trying to suppress fits of giggles, Matt suggested, "Hey Near, maybe some good 'ol carnival food will cheer ya up!" **

**"That sounds sufficient." Mello gave a secret smile at Matt, and the redhead gave his blond counterpart a wink. They led the still slightly clumsy Near to a nearby stand selling cotton candy.**

**Colors**

**"Hello boys." said a forty-ish looking brunette woman. Mello suppressed a much needed scowl. "So Near, do you want blue, or pink cotton candy?" Mello asked a seemingly innocent question.**

**"Well, considering my limited options and general predilections towards cool colors, I would have to pick blue. Although I highly doubt there is any distinguishing taste or texture separating the two, so in actuality it really doesn't matter which color I choose, but still, blue."**

**Mello hastily handed the saleswoman the money, and she eyed the blond leather-clad man like they ought to be in a mental facility. She almost reluctantly handed Near his mass of artificially colored sugar. "Thank you." Near said politely with a nod. **

**The trio turned around in uncanny unison, not caring what the woman thought. Near licked a tuff of cotton candy, letting it dissolve on his tongue. "So Near, what do you think?" Mello asked jokingly.**

**"It would be much simpler if they just sold plane refined sugar instead."**

**Budding Homosexuals**

**No one cared for its technical name. The experts just called it the Corkscrew. It was neatly tucked behind the X-Treme Frisbee. For seconds it seemed like an innocent park with grass and little trees. That is, until a couple dozen adrenaline-high park-goers whip by your head. Loop-de-loops, twists, drops. It had it all. And in just under fifty two seconds.**

**Mello hungered for it. Matt hungered to satisfy Mello's hunger. Near was just plain afraid. **

**"Mello… I don't think I want to go on this ride…" Mello pouted cutely. "Aw come on Near, I'll ride with you. I'll sleep with you tonight! Hell, I'll-" **

**Mello was interrupted at the sight of an eleven year old boy in on olive Hollister T-shirt, black skinny jeans, and neon-pink converse shoes.**

**"Are you two happy together?" He asked, clearly trying to flirt with Mello to get his answers. Mello put a protective hand on Near's shoulder. "What the fuck, kid?" He asked rather bluntly. The kid put his hands on his hips, clearly trying to accent their shape. "I asked a rather simply question, don't 'cha think?"**

**Mello rolled his eyes. "Yeah kid, we're fucking overjoyed to be together. Could you just go away now?" He turned the kid's shoulders so he was forced to face the other way. Then Mello promptly pushed him, and the boy stumbled off, and that was that. **

**Whilst getting in line, (Near had finally succumbed to Mello's demands, preferring not to have the sexual threats placed upon him discussed in great detail out loud.) Matt asked, "Hey Mello, how come you don't like it when people inquire about our sexual orientation?" **

**Silly Matt, who knew Mello would get annoyed that the previously untainted minds of children would play at corruption by listening to Matt. "I don't know Matt, not here, ok?" Mello ran a hand through his hair. Distracted by that one simple movement Matt wondered why Mello didn't take his gloves off so he could feel the alluring texture of the hair that sat atop his head for himself.**

**The Corkscrew**

**Mello promised Near they would sit in the middle of the train as opposed to the front or back, so they did. Matt sat in the car behind them, only to grin at the sight of a blond ten year old girl with a ponytail who had never been on this ride before, and was really, really excited.**

**"So I don't know…"**

**"But my friend told me…"**

**"But I read online…"**

**"So then I asked a stranger…"**

**Mello tried to block out the annoying buzz from behind. Well at least Matt didn't mind the kid…**

**Mello gave Near a reassuring smile as the ride attendants snapped down their tight shoulder restraints.**

**The train jerked into motion as they head, "Enjoy your ride," sound from nearby speakers. It slowly made a turn and began to steeply climb up a hill. Mello laughed when a couple of teenagers in the very back burst into song.**

**"MISA HAD A LITTLE LAMB, LITTLE LAMB, LITTLE LAMB, MISA HAD A LITTLE LAMB WHOSE FLEECE WAS WHITE AS SNOW! EVERYWHERE THAT MISA WENT, MISA WENT, MISA WENT, EVERYWHERE THAT MISA WENT THE LAMB WAS SURE TO FOLLOW!" **(A/n: My friend and I have actually sat at the back and sang that song as loud as we possibly could before.)

**Near however, had his eyes squeezed shut. His body was pressed tightly up against the seat, tense. As the ride reached the top of the peak, it suddenly sped up. It turned a corner sharply, and people who were unawares were now in some pain, this ride frequently banged you head up against the side of the restraint.**

**Anyway, after the heart wrenching turn was over, it immediately dipped downwards, swooshing dangerously close to the heads of line-waiters. Picking up speed after the fall, the world flipped upside down, came back down, and flipped up, and down again. It all happened so fast that one could barely consciously acknowledge the fact that you were being flipped upside down. After the flips the ride went around another sharp corner, and eventually slowed to a stop.**

**"Welcome back, how was your ride?" A man said into a microphone. The girl sitting next to Matt shrieked loudly in response, and Mello could have sworn his ears bled a little inside.**

**The restraints pulled up with a mechanical hiss, and Mello helped Near up. Walking down an inclining ramp, Near was pale. "Near are you feeling alright, you look a little pale?" Saying Near looked pale was actually a bit of an understatement. Rather, he looked a bit like molding cauliflower. **

**Mouthing "Mello", Near looked away, hurriedly trotting to a nearby trashcan and leaned over it. Mello and Matt looked away as they heard gagging and the sounds of ickiness filling the poor, poor trash can, who took enough abuse as it is. After a few moments, Near came back to them, politely wiping his mouth with his sleeve.**

**After a moment of dull staring, Mello picked Near up bridal style and said sternly, "I'm buying you a Coke. It'll help settle your stomach."**

**Which Color**

**Near smiled weakly and closed his eyes as Mello walked. The fact that Mello didn't mind that people saw them like this, and that he didn't flip anyone off who dared make a rude comment, like he normally did, proved to Near how much he cared. **

**Sitting the still queasy Near at a pentagonal shaped table with an umbrella sticking out the middle, Mello went to get Near his much needed soda. Sitting next to Near at the table, Matt didn't really know what to say, but the silence was killing him. "So Near, Mello's like your own personal practitioner now, huh?" **

**Matt hadn't been making eye-contact with Near, so he hadn't noticed the small albino had his hand tightly clasped around his mouth. Wondering why Near hadn't made some smart mouthed remark like normal, Matt looked over just in time to see Near turn towards him. Near's mouth was open, and before Matt knew it, his lovely cream colored fur lined vest was dripping with puke. If Matt hadn't been the one covered in the stuff, he would have spent a minute or two pondering the color of the chunky substance. Was it aqua, or brown, or green, or what?**

**As Mello was walking back, a Coke can in one hand, chocolate bar in the other, he was wondering what Matt had spilt on his vest… He wasn't even drinking or eating something!**

**When he got close enough to tell, Mello gritted his teeth. He felt his chocolate bar snap in one place, and the Coke can now had a distinctive hand shaped dent in it. **

**"We need to get you tow to a bathroom,"**

**Goggles**

**One long trip to the bathroom, to Cokes, one Diet Coke, two hot dogs, one cheeseburger, and one on the Boston Tea Party, Log Flume, Ferris Wheel, and Turkish Twist later, Mello, Near, and Matt were in lined for the famed Yankee Cannonball. It was the oldest wooden coaster in New Hampshire. (Or something like that.) It had endured a terrible hurricane, then only to be moved from its original park to Canobie… Bla bla bla history. Anyway, it was publicly known for its steep 63.5 foot drop, vast expanse, and overall… Funness. The only thing that could be critiqued was-**

**The line. Packed into a small corner, it was like a corn maze, except without the corn and freedom of leg space. And you could be stuck there for a while. In the thick of it all, Mello was fuming at the ridiculous wait, only to get some incredulous stares from his fellow line-waiters. Matt was apparently battling Elite Four Bertha, occasionally growling at something called Hippowdon. More stares. Near was the only one observing the actual ride.**

**Once again a train chalk full of people departed from the station. Once again Near's intense ebony gaze followed them up a really, really big hill. Once again he had expected to hear screams as the ride descended. Once again none came. You couldn't hear or see what happened to the people after they went up the hill. You couldn't tell when they came back either. Near's supple imagination unfortunately filled in the blanks numerous times over for him.**

**A long long long long long time later, they were sitting in the train. Mello and Matt were at the very front, wanting to get the most out of the experience. Near was sitting in the pair of seats just behind them, cringing when a young woman reluctantly sat next to him. **

**The ride attendant was going through the ever dulling motions. "Remember to keep your seatbelt fastened tight…" His voice trailed off when he saw Matt. Standing up, the ride attendant walked over to the redhead and said in a drawling tone, "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to please remove, your, er- goggles for the duration of the ride. They could come off during it prove to be a potential hazard."**

**Instead of complying with the dirty-blond, Matt put on his cheesy Swedish accent and began to talk.**

**"Dees, dees is mah swimming gear." He waved his hands dramatically, close to his goggles. "Deh help me see in deh vater." When the ride attendant didn't say anything, Matt continued. "You see, vhen deh vater go voosh," He made splashing movements. "Vithout deh goggles I go AAAAH!" He pretended to be in pain. "But vith deh goggles on vhen deh vater go voosh I go weeee!" Matt's arms simulated graceful freestyle strokes.**

**The ride attendant, (whom we shall call Stan) honestly didn't know whether this guy was faking it, or badly retarded. So he played it cool and simply stared.**

**That was like a prompt for Matt to continue. He fished out a half-smoke cigarette from his pockets, holding it very close to Stan's mouth, Matt said, "Dees, dees is mah ciiiggarette. It iis very hhot." He rudely jabbed Stan's cheek with it.**

**"Tssss!"**


	3. The Return

Author's Notes of Wisdom: Ok, so I wasn't sure how much I could do with them just going back to the hotel, so added some yaoi to spice things up a bit.

**The Wammy's Boys to Canobie Lake Park**

**Part 3: The Return**

**It was leaning towards closing time at Canobie Lake Park, and our three young heroes agreed it was time to leave. Near was practically falling asleep on his feet, he was still a little sick after all. Mello was burnt out, having run out of chocolate a dangerously long time ago. And Matt was getting… Spacey.**

**Before leaving though, Mello required a form of easily consumable energy if he was going to drive them back to the hotel. Leaving the doll-like Near at a table, Mello and Matt walked up to the lengthening line of the coffee shop.**

**"So Matt, I'm getting the largest mocha latte possible, what do you want?" **

**…**

**"Matt?" Matt's gaze suddenly snapped back to the blond. "Huhwhat?"**

**"What do you want to drink?"**

**Matt paused before saying, "Oh, I'll just have a small black coffee."**

**Mello nodded.**

**As the line steadily progressed, Matt watched Mello's gaze wander back to the slumbering Near multiple times. The, Mello would try to look away, but he couldn't.**

**"Hey," Matt said quietly, touching Mello's arm. "Do you think he wants anything?"**

**Mello smiled at Matt with noticeable longing. "Nah, he's cute when he sleeps." Matt smiled back at Mello, but then they realized it was their turn to order. **

**The small woman looked up at Mello expectedly. "I'll have the largest mocha latter possible, and one small black coffee." Notice Mello did not say 'please'.**

**The woman signaled to her co-worker who was standing read at the machine before saying, "I'm sorry, sir, we've run out of mocha latte." Mello turned around with his fists clenched, stamped his foot and said 'fuck' rather loudly. Then he turned back to the coffee woman, his anger under control. "Hot chocolate?"**

**The woman nodded just as the other mad put Matt's coffee on the counter. After sipping delicately, he waited with Mello until he received his hot chocolate. After a minute or tow of poisonously glaring at the coffee workers, Mello's frothing hot chocolate arrived. The two walked around to the side of the shop where the extra cream and sugar was available.**

**Mello drank some of his hot chocolate while watching Matt dump Equal into his coffee. (Real sugar didn't pt Matt in a very good mood.)**

**When Matt looked up from his coffee Mello leaned in and kissed him deeply. After a couple of minutes of good healthy snogging, Matt asked, "What was that for?" Putting his arm around Matt's shoulders and leading him back to the table where Near was at, Mello said, "Felt like it."**

**Mello and Matt sat at the opposite end of table, watching Near sleep. They had no idea how heavily Near slept, and they were wondering what method would be the best to wake Near up. Sort of randomly, Mello said, "He looks sort of like and angel in a comatose." Matt laughed, and they grinned as Near stirred. **

**Matt smiled. "Only you would say something like that, Mels." Mello grinned devilishly. Then he stiffened. "Matt, I know how to wake Near up."**

**"Ok…" said Matt hesitantly. Mello had a creepy look in his eyes. Standing up quietly, Mello walked over to Near's end of the table. He crouched down so he could talk directly into Near's ear. Mello grinned as if to say, "Well here goes nothing." And said in a serious tone into Near's ear, "I am Optimus Prime." **

**Near's head immediately jumped from the table, and he made a double take. In the meantime, Mello was on the ground laughing and Matt was staring in amused disbelief.**

**After getting over the initial shock, Near brought his hand to a stray curl of white hair, and seemed to pout slightly.**

**"That was most definitely not funny, Mello."**

**Mello shrugged, his mood swinging now that Near was unhappy. He awkwardly stood up and gulped down some of his hot chocolate. Trying hard not to slam it back on the table, Mello put his drink down and cleared his throat. "Well, the park's about to close and we're all tired, so we might as well leave." **

"**I second that motion." Matt said, standing up. Near nodded sleepily and stood up an attempt to get Near moving, Mello put one arm around Near's shoulders and drew him close, walking at a brisk pace. Matt trotted up to walk beside them, and they made their way towards the exit of the park.**

**Up ahead, there was a slightly elderly fat man with a really long, Santa-like beard. He was greeting people as they left.**

"**Thank you for coming to Canobie Lake Park!" He bellowed in s surprisingly jolly tone. Mello eyes him suspiciously as they passed, wondering how the man could say something so repeatedly and still stuff all that emotion into it.**

**When they got back to the car, Near pretty much collapsed in the back seat. Mello paused, contemplating whether he should remind Near to buckle his seat belt. He decided against it, Matt would tease him and call him Near's mummy.**

**After Matt got in and (yes,) buckled in his seat belt, he simply stared out the front windshield. Shifting into reverse, Mello raised his eyebrow. The fact the Matt didn't swiftly whip out his DS meant that really was tired.**

**Great. Mello hated riving without internal sound, because if something unusual was heard from outside, he would jump and nearly swerve off the road. He couldn't turn on the radio either, that would surely wake Near up.**

**Mello sighed to himself as he pulled out of the vast parking lot. He got on the highway and veered into the far left lane. He wanted to get back to the hotel before he himself fell asleep at the wheel.**

**In the Hotel Parking Lot**

**When they arrived at the hotel Near was still asleep. Mello and Matt were outside the car, peering in through the window at the still sleeping Near. Growing annoyed, Mello was tapping on the window like it was the glass of a fish bowl. When Near neither woke nor stirred, Mello ripped open the car door, causing Matt to jump back in alarm.**

"**Near, Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in the parking lot and they say they need you to be ref."**

**Near sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes. Seeing only Mello and Matt, and no giant robots, he scowled ever so slightly.**

"**Mello, being woken up like that is very unsettling."**

"**Well it was the only way to get you up without physically harming you!" Mello snapped back. Of course, the only time Mello would physically harm Near was when they were in bed and- Oh crap. If I described it in detail I would have to change the rating from T to M. And I've never written a lemon before so…**

**ANYWAY. Mello separated from Near and Matt in the homely and spacious lobby to replenish his supply of chocolate. He walked over to the nook of a candy shop and promptly grabbed as many chocolate bars as his hand could hold.**

"**Hey Mello!" Came the cheery chirp from the night-cashier, Kristine. Mello grunted in reply. That girl was treating was treating him too informally. Just because he had been a regular customer the past few nights apparently entitled Kristine to treat Mello like and old friend from grade school.**

"**Hey Kristine…" Mello said boredly as he pulled the required money from his black leather wallet. He gave her exact change, so the moment the money was in her hands Mello turned around on his heels, without another glance at Kristine.**

"**Have a nice night then!" Striding through the girth of the lobby, Mello smirked for two reasons.**

**Kristine's tone was clearly downcast.**

**Oh yes, Mello was going to have a very nice night indeed.**

**Coincidentally the elevator pinged open just as Mello reached it. No one**

**came out. Whatever, Mello had good karma, so it didn't really matter to him whether someone had been on it or not. Once the door closed Mello leaned against the polished wood. He surely had not anticipated how much energy theme parks could suck out of you.**

**Mello had just been getting used to standing up while sleeping when the elevator pinged seemingly louder then before and Mello threw it a glare as he left.**

**He step consciously quieted as he approached their suite. It wasn't even that late, but it was evident all the lights were off. Mello slipped the cardkey in and out smoothly and stepped into the large plush suite quietly. He took off his boot and put them in a corner where other shoes were placed, and turned on one of the dimmer lamps.**

**He headed for the bathroom, but nearly tripped on a wayward pair of dice. Cursing his bard karma, Mello flicked on the light switch inside the bathroom. He obsessively turned the thumb-turn lock, and unzipped his leather pants to relieve himself.**

**After nature finished beckoning, Mello opened the bottom sink-cupboard. Lying neatly folded was a black T-shirt and black pajama bottoms. Yes, he had evened prepared for situations like this. For Mello was considerate enough so that he didn't have to wake someone up by rummaging through the draws for his clothes. **

**Mello reluctantly shed his lower skin of leather of leather and donned the cotton pants. He did the same with his vest/black T-shirt as well. You see, Mello would have been just dandy wearing leather to bed, but Matt said it felt uncomfortable. **

**Ok everyone, before Mello leaves the bathroom and goes to bed, I have to clear something up. I'm guessing that for some of you a lightly suggestive question may have crept into your mind. I know. It would indeed be rather odd for Mello to sleep with Near and Matt at that same time, wouldn't it? And so my faithful readers, I am here to inform you that Mello alternates who he has hot kinky sex with every night. **

**Before heading to the room of which Matt commonly slept in, Mello need to wish Near a good night's rest. **

**Mello paused in the middle of the doorway. Near was scrunched up in a tight ball, the covers tightly wound around him. To be quite frank, Due to his white hair, you could barely see Near unless you were looking for him. **

**Sort of like a wraith, Mello was in the doorway one second and at Near's bedside the next. Knowing Mello well, Near only tried to bury himself deeper in the sheets. His pale was forehead was still exposed, so Mello kissed it gently. Well, it was the only spot Mello could kiss at the moment. **

**"Goodnight, my sheep." Mello whispered. When the only goodnight in return Mello got was a grumble and shifting of position, Mello left Near's room.**

**Now in Matt's room, Mello gently eased himself silently under the covers, an art that comes with practice. When Mello got no response from Matt, Mello whispered loudly, "Matt, you awake?"**

**"Nhn… Mello." Matt nuzzled Mello's neck, kissing it gently. Mello rolled over on his side and planted a chaste kiss on Matt's mouth.**

**"I love you Matt."**

"'**Love you too, Mels."**

**Fin**


End file.
